Finally !!!

Anyone who knew me well knew the one thing i wanted most in life was to be a mom, to have a child of my own and to love that child unconditionally! Derek and i had been married for about a year and a half when we decided we would start trying to have a baby. It was something i was realistic about and knew that it could happen the 1st try or be years. So a year had gone by and i wasn't too shook up yet.

One day, when I was at my parents house, my mom causally said " hey there is an article in my magazine that i think you should look at. Not that i am saying you have this but i think you should look at it and see what you think".The title was "PCOS" ...ok? Underneath the title were a list of all the possible symptoms. Below it said YOU MAY NOT HAVE ALL SYMPTOMS but if you have at least 5 of these symptoms, talk to your Dr. So i go through the symptoms again and in my head " Check ...Check ... Check Check ...... Check....OMG THERE IS MY 5 !!!" My mom, being the great mom she is, jumped in and said, "o it's just something maybe next time your in to see Mary , maybe i would bring up. Nothing to get too concerned about. " I finished reading the article and as mom and I were discussing all of the symptoms i did have, i thought i would fill her in on the one she didn't know about. One of the symptoms was not able to get pregnant and or miscarry easily. I could feel me starting to get teary eyed when thinking of how to tell mom. Me,being so good with words ( LOL), just blurted out " There is one more symptom you don't know about. I have been off the pill for a year and a half now ! " I think mom knew I was concerned about this by now and we sat and talked for a while.

It didn't take me but Monday morning to call and get an appointment. I remember going online, printing off info reading and rereading as much as i could about it. It was time for my Dr.'s appointment, I brought all my sheets i had printed off to show my Dr. I stated to Mary " I am not normally one who comes in and try to diagnose myself, but I have something i want to go through with you" As soon as i started in with the info i had and told her my symptoms, she smiled a not so happy smile and started nodding at me. We sat and discussed what i need to do and meds i needed to take. And before i left, She came and gave me a hug and said "No need to worry yet Jackie, you can still get pregnant. Don't worry quite yet.  "

I left the office went straight to GNC got some of my meds, then went to Walgreens and got my prescriptions. Went home read the info on the pills i was to take. There was one med in particular that the side effect was becoming nauseous. The weeks to follow,I was not taking the news very well. I cried a lot. The thought of me not being able to enjoy being pregnant and have a child of my own just made me sick. I prayed a lot and was finally came to that if this is what God has planned for me, there is nothing i can do about it.

It was Easter by now and we always went to Early rise service. During the service I had to get up and leave !  I didn't feel good most of the day and thought it was just my pills kicking in. This continued for another week when something else started. My breasts started hurting. I remember i had the day off and Derek was working. I ran to the store, got a pregnancy test .. ok maybe 2 of them :-) and went straight home. Both came back positive! I was hysterical !!But i had to calm down as Derek was coming home. And had to think of how i was going to tell him. Unfortunately i didn't come up with anything cool. He walked in and i was CHEESING !! Grinning ear to ear. SO i had to tell him right away. I told him there was something for him in the bathroom. I left the pregnancy test out so he could see them. He turned around and had this smirk on his face.We were so excited to finally be pregnant.

Heck i find myself smiling as i sit here writing about it. Come to find out, i was pregnant when i went to the Dr and talked about my PCOS in the 1st place. Yes, I still had/have PCOS but i was blessed to be able to still get pregnant.

Yes, there are moments where my children my get on my nerves, but i wouldn't trade them for all the PEACE in my world. I am very blessed to have two beautiful, healthy kids that bring all the joy to my life.  I will never take that for granted .. EVER !

The beginning of Derek and I

I graduated High School in 2000. Aug of 2000, a friend and i moved into 3rd floor apartment. My parents had helped me move in all my big stuff then the "last trip" when i would finally stay in Sioux City my mom, grandma, and brother came up with the last minute stuff and to make sure things were settled. As we were carrying in our stuff, my roommate and i noticed a few eyes on us. There were 4 guys living in the basement of our apartment. There was one in particular that was very UPFRONT with us. He would come and hang out with us making sure we didn't need anything. He then invited us to our first college party in their apartment that weekend. That is where we met the other guys. We had a blast! And those 4 guys ended up being like family to us. We would cook supper for them as they would help with the cars or anything we really asked or needed of them. This was their 2nd year of college and knew a little more about the area and school than we did. My favorite meal was spaghetti night. We had a food fight through out the apartment building which led outside. It was fun til we had to pick up our mess ! 

My roommate started hanging out with one of the guys a little more as did i. Derek was the one who i meshed with the best. He was fun to talk to, always made me laugh, treated me like a lady, loved sports and we found ourselves having an easy time talking to each other about personal things. God and his family meant a lot to him, which is a plus in my eyes. He was open to admitting his faults and when I beat him in our competitive games. :-)

I will never forget the night he finally asked me out. . OMG it was quite the night ! I never gave him an answer that night. That next morning i had to go home, I brought this up to my mom and grandma and that i hadn't given him an answer. . they both smiled and said " Jackie, All you talk about is Kuch this and Kuch that ... it's clear you like him already! "

Our first date was a double date with our roommates. Before we left, the guys entertained us girls by dancing to Micheal Jackson, boy was that a sight ! We went to a Chinese buffet. LOL It sounds funny now, at the time it was where we liked to eat !! He was such a gentleman and so alert to my needs through out the night. We ( I think i can say this for him as well ) both fell hard... Fast! I think since we had gotten to know each other as friends first ... I don't know what it was exactly but all i know is we had so much fun together and i could be myself around him.

I'll never forget the first time he met my parents. . it was also the first time i NEEDED him and he was right there for me. I was in a accident on Gordon Dr. My 1st one ! I was so nervous. I called him and told him where i was and he was there with my roommate in just minutes. After we were done there, he drove me home to my parents house. I had to fill out the accident report and wanted to see the chiropractor. He walked into my house and in our hallway sat all my dad's guns. As he walked by he stared at them, and being the "FUNNY" guy my dad is my dad stated " just remember they are always loaded" LOL!!! Derek did get brownie points for being there and so willing to help out  :-)

Derek proposed on our yr anniversary, November 25, 2001. We got married August 2, 2003. And since then,  we have continued to have great times, and some not so great. But I wouldn't have anyone else by my side during all of it. 

He still can make me laugh!

Me as a kid

 I loved my Childhood. I was spoiled . . not spoiled rotten ( i don't think ) but spoiled in a good way. I lived on a farm. I have 2 younger brothers, Jason and Jordan. I believe we got along better than most siblings, sure we had our moments but still had a good  time together. We had the greatest parents, Doug and Bobbi. They were strict but fair, always put us kids' interests first, and we always had fun. One thing that was special was most of my childhood i lived within about a 30 mile radius of all my cousins and grandparents. So we grew up being very close with our cousins. Family was a big part of my life and can't be more grateful that it was.

Some quick facts:

•  My birth name  : Jackie Kay Rasmus
• I took dance from ages 3-5th grade
• Lived on the family farm across the road from my grandparents
• I took piano lessons for maybe 2 yrs and quit since my mom was getting sick of me not practicing EVER !! ( until Christmas rolled around )
• I played basketball from 3rd grade til my senior yr. I got some awards and set a few records in high school and played in an All star game my senior year.
• I played volleyball from 6th til my senior yr. We were one game away from going to state my senior year.
• I also did track, softball, golf, choir, tried playing the percussion for 3 yrs, and even was in a couple plays.
• Was always a mother hen. I loved being the one carrying around the babies and taking care of the toddlers. 
• I am told, as a young child, i loved being the center of attention, always had a song to sing , and always had a performance ready to show. 
• I was a 4-her. I entered in baking and all the girls stuff but also showed sheep and pigs. 
• We had animals all through out my life.. 4 horned sheep, horses/ponies, sheep, donkeys, pigs, long haired calf, many puppies, i even had a duck when i was little and named it peeper :-) 
• I did style shows  AND LOVED IT! 
• It took me quite a few times to pass my drivers written test ... LOL  oops :-) 
• I won Miss Congeniality at the Cherokee County Queen Pageant 
• Graduated in 2000

Well i hope i didn't bore you too much, but those are just a few things I can remember and/or choose to tell.

I had a wonderful childhood and great parents.. I just hope i can give and do the same for my kids !

The Rasmus Cousins with Grandpa Pudge and Grandma Jane 

The BOY Schmillen Cousins with Grandpa Ronnie and Grandma Darlene

The GIRL Schmillen Cousins

My new adventure in BLOGGING

Really I have NO CLUE what i am really doing :-) But i have seen and kept up on some of my friends and family's blogs and think I could do that and ya know it might just be fun too! Some are very profound ,some are strictly about a certain topic but mine, as in life, will be ALL OVER THE PLACE !! I will probably be writing about my kids for sure, family,  my faith, friends, whatever is going on in my life and whatever happens to float my boat that particular day. I have on the right a picture of my family taken this fall. Emma is now 4 Ayden is 1 and Derek, well he is turning the B I G 30 on Feb 27th and i am 28 . I say my age loud and proud. As of now , I don't care about my age. I figure 1~ I can't do anything about it so why get in a tizzy and 2~ if i weren't 28 and in the present I wouldn't have the wonderful family i have, supportive friends. . ect.  I don't want to be anywhere but here , right now !  My mom has a a saying in her home that i love and can relate to A LOT. . . 
 We may not have it all together . . But together we HAVE IT ALL !!!